A Diet to Die For! Breast Cancer in Canada.

If Barbie were Yiddish, Joan Rivers could be her bubby (pronounced similar to boobie) …

Joan Rivers has had a lot of plastic surgery — I think I heard her say on some show that she’s spent about $150,000.00 on plastic surgery. To me, she still looks old, except now she could be Barbie’s really old relative with smooth skin. Poor Melissa, Joan’s daughter, could also be Barbie or Midge’s great old auntie now, too — I certainly see the similarity between Midge and Melissa’s foreheads, don’t you?

This post is about surgery, including plastic surgery, except it’s about the decision for reconstruction surgery after a radical mastectomy.

The good news is that the Ontario Health Insurance Plan (OHIP) pays for all reconstruction surgery for breast cancer survivors because it’s considered “body image”.

I haven’t been referred to a plastic surgeon yet and Dr. Ewan says it will probably be a year before I’ll be able to get to see one — and that most plastic surgeons typically don’t like to consider surgery after breast cancer for at least a year after a mastectomy [paraphrasing] — so this information may change after I’ve seen a plastic surgeon.

After a mastectomy, there are several options (all paid for by OHIP):

1. Do nothing. This is more common than I ever thought and more common amongst mature women over 60. I read an article about a photographer who had taken photos of women with mastectomies which looks pretty darn cool.
2. Prosthetics (plastic boobs that pop into your bra). One of the nurses at the hospital came in to show us her prosthetic (there were 2 of us in the room that had a radical mastectomy). She popped it out and I was relieved to see that it has a nipple — continuing to look like a girl is important to me. She said that she had her mastectomy over 20 years ago and only now is she considering reconstructive surgery.
3. Implants. These, to me, seem to be the least invasive. My question would be, does the other breast also get a bit of a lift — since I still have one real breast, I think it would look quite odd to have one breast that doesn’t project like the other one. I’m hoping the answer is yes, I would get a smaller implant into the real breast so that both breasts match.
4. TRAM flap. For me, this sounds like I would be out of commission for a long time again. Although getting a tummy tuck as well as a new realistic looking boob sounds fabulous, I’ll guess that recovery time is at least another 6-8 weeks. After the surgeon takes the fat from the abdomen, they make a new breast from it. After which I can decide to have a tattoo for the areola — and the nipple is made out of a piece of the labia. I doubt all of this is done at the same time, which probably adds to the recovery time. Since I’m self-employed, this is not an ideal option for me … even if I would love to have a tummy tuck at 50!

Perhaps it’s a good thing I have to wait at least a year before making any decisions since I’m still numb from the elbow up to the shoulder, across to the collar bone and down past the incision area — it’s bizarre to be itchy and numb simultaneously.

Hopefully none of these options would make me look like old plastic; the way the majority of celebrities are moving towards … how on earth do they expect to have a career in acting if they can’t show any expression … hmmm. That’s another question for another blogger that cares about celebrities.

Look for the Joan Rivers doll & Melissa Rivers doll coming to a store near you …